Armour

How have you performed at work?

Not in the end-of-year appraisal way. But performed a version of yourself. One that's more confident, maybe. More "enough". Or more whatever that particular room seems to require.

I certainly have. And most of the leaders I coach say something similar.

But I don't think "performing" captures what it really feels like. I prefer to think of it as putting on a suit of armour.

Armour is protective. It defends you against an environment that feels threatening. It keeps you safe. You probably put it on because you were wounded before, and you don't want to feel that pain again. Something or someone might have made it feel necessary.

You'll likely have different armour for different situations. You've probably been rewarded for wearing it. It could have even made you successful.

The armour made sense. It still might. Some environments aren't safe enough to be without it.

But it comes with a cost. Armour is heavy. Wearing it every day is exhausting. You may even have some that you first put on years ago. Those suits likely don't fit well anymore. They chafe and dig in. But you've worn them so long the discomfort has started to feel normal.

Taking off the armour can feel unthinkable. Maybe you've forgotten what you look like underneath.

A lot of coaching focuses on strengthening the armour. Building resilience. Giving you more tools. Ways to keep battling on.

The best coaching I've experienced is when you feel safe enough to take it off.

You know that feeling when you kick off a tight pair of shoes you've been wearing all day? That big exhale. That sense of relief. That's it.