The Radio

As I approached 40, I realised something.

I'd been performing a version of myself I thought would make me happy. Chasing the job title. Saying all the right things. Getting good at work that didn't really feel like mine.

Outwardly, my life looked successful. But on the inside, it didn't feel like that at all.

The signs showed in my body first. I wasn't sleeping well. I was constantly stressed. A tight ball of anxiety in my chest, all the time. Life felt exhausting.

I knew something needed to change, I just didn't know what.

So I started asking questions. What actually matters to me? What gives me energy? When am I calmest? When am I most alive? What makes me feel most like myself?

I started to think of it like tuning one of those old radios when you're trying to find the station you want to listen to. As you turn the dials, the background static starts to fade away and the music underneath gradually becomes clearer.

Once I could hear the song perfectly, the question became: how can I turn the volume up?

That process led me to coaching. First as a client, then as an internal coach, then deep into the psychology of a Master's degree. The practice I have now grew out of all of that.

It took a while. But you realise how much lighter things feel when you're more you.